To Italy again?

Ya minna~ (-.0)/

The Italian embassy has opened applications for study grants to Italy (similar to the one I did before).

I'm heavily considering to go. Of course, depending on where I'd be working during the study period, I'd have to quit that job. Or this job. I MISS U ITALY (+_+)

Next is to consider which grant to take. The simplest would be to take the same one as I did before, (three-month language study course) but hopefully, I'll get the "C" level during the entrance exam. Last time, I had the chance to go to the "C" level, but I chose "B" instead since my main aim was to tour around Italy. The certs from the "C" level can be used when one applies for jobs etc. The classes are harder though. I'm not sure how those certs would be used in Malaysia though. (-ω- )

Since the age limit is 35, I should go as often as I can. hahaha p(*＾-＾*)q

I dunno if the three-month language study grant for Japan is still available though.

I REALLY NEED A BREAK T____T

The pressure at the office is escalating, my team leader wants to see progress THIS WEEK, especially because the firm's Managing Director from the UK is here T___T

This means that I'll have to wake up at 4am to pad up unfinished work T___T

I'm also considering getting another job, but the thought of working in yet another office kinda scares me @___@ I'm scared this would repeat itself. But at the same time, there's a chance that it wouldn't. I dunno what to think anymore lllorzlll

Still wondering how to tell my parents that I want to quit my job, avoid nagging to become a government servant, trying to become an animator (probably after going to Italy) and learning animation basics and making an art portfolio while having a temporary job? @___@

Or maybe I should make a manga and send it to the Gempak editor and try my luck. hahaha. My friend who works there said that the competition is tough though. @__@ I don't mind the competition, but between the upcoming Japanese test (Ive barely studied for it), miserable salary(wo)man life and potential family problems, I haven't the time to make one at the moment. But I'd really like to try.

I'm kinda anxious to talk about it with my dad >_> I hope he'll understand. Maybe that way it'll be easier to break the news to my mum. @___@

Sorry for the rants and stuff, needed an outlet orz. My brain's gonna explode @__@

Sigh. I wanna be an aniuta no kashu.

Take care all <(_ _)>

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Ranty blog~

Ya minna. Ranty blog ahead! Warning!

It's one of those days
When my chest feels tight.

I just got a raise.
Happy? Far from it.

Basically saying that the review shows not much has changed,
aside from the coding training.

Concentration/production problems keep cropping up.
This slows down work pace by a LOT.
I can't seem to solve it.
I'm lost, really.

Apparently
things I did which I thought would solve some production problems
Still troubled others.

I don't belong here.

But at the same time, I don't think I can go back home.
It's hard to explain, but
By doing that,
There's a high chance I'll lose this freedom completely.
And most probably lose touch with anything that keeps my dreams alive.
To me, that's worse than death.

In terms of changing jobs,
My qualifications do not give me a lot of choices,
in term of technical jobs, that is.
I envy my ex-colleague, who was in the same boat as I was.
She quit and took a leap of faith,
Going back home and searched for another path.

I need to take a leap of faith too.

I'm still looking for options.
Obviously "working hard to create free time" isn't working
as well as I had planned.

I just want my free time back. Desperately.
I need it to reach my dreams.
I know I'm meant to reach them.
I just know it.

I want to be where I belong.

I'm sorry. At the moment, I feel like exploding Y___Y I might remove this entry when I feel better.

Take care all <(_ _)>

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