Ya minna. Ranty blog ahead! Warning!
It's one of those days
When my chest feels tight.
I just got a raise.
Happy? Far from it.
Basically saying that the review shows not much has changed,
aside from the coding training.
Concentration/production problems keep cropping up.
This slows down work pace by a LOT.
I can't seem to solve it.
I'm lost, really.
Apparently
things I did which I thought would solve some production problems
Still troubled others.
I don't belong here.
But at the same time, I don't think I can go back home.
It's hard to explain, but
By doing that,
There's a high chance I'll lose this freedom completely.
And most probably lose touch with anything that keeps my dreams alive.
To me, that's worse than death.
In terms of changing jobs,
My qualifications do not give me a lot of choices,
in term of technical jobs, that is.
I envy my ex-colleague, who was in the same boat as I was.
She quit and took a leap of faith,
Going back home and searched for another path.
I need to take a leap of faith too.
I'm still looking for options.
Obviously "working hard to create free time" isn't working
as well as I had planned.
I just want my free time back. Desperately.
I need it to reach my dreams.
I know I'm meant to reach them.
I just know it.
I want to be where I belong.
I'm sorry. At the moment, I feel like exploding Y___Y I might remove this entry when I feel better.
Take care all <(_ _)>
It's one of those days
When my chest feels tight.
I just got a raise.
Happy? Far from it.
Basically saying that the review shows not much has changed,
aside from the coding training.
Concentration/production problems keep cropping up.
This slows down work pace by a LOT.
I can't seem to solve it.
I'm lost, really.
Apparently
things I did which I thought would solve some production problems
Still troubled others.
I don't belong here.
But at the same time, I don't think I can go back home.
It's hard to explain, but
By doing that,
There's a high chance I'll lose this freedom completely.
And most probably lose touch with anything that keeps my dreams alive.
To me, that's worse than death.
In terms of changing jobs,
My qualifications do not give me a lot of choices,
in term of technical jobs, that is.
I envy my ex-colleague, who was in the same boat as I was.
She quit and took a leap of faith,
Going back home and searched for another path.
I need to take a leap of faith too.
I'm still looking for options.
Obviously "working hard to create free time" isn't working
as well as I had planned.
I just want my free time back. Desperately.
I need it to reach my dreams.
I know I'm meant to reach them.
I just know it.
I want to be where I belong.
I'm sorry. At the moment, I feel like exploding Y___Y I might remove this entry when I feel better.
Take care all <(_ _)>
